Familial Hijinks

by David Dewar, Jeff Dewar, Cindy Fleming, Mary Lou Dewar, Kristina Brown, Alan Dewar and Bob Dewar

"To the 'Fromobile!" rang out the cry of the city's favorite -- well, okay, only -- super-hero, as the Afro Signal beamed into the clouds.

Upon arriving at his destination (having the trademark Batman theme song going the whole trip), the hero stepped out of his vehicle, glaring at the monitor by the castle's gate. The screen blinked to life, an evil grin being shown. "This Man, cease all evil acts immediately!"
"For the last time, This Man's my cousin! I'm That Dude!"

From behind the gate a low lispy voice spoke. "You're my second cousin twice removed -- I have followed you for days. Now we meet face to face." Out stepped a ...

hideous little man with a large, white mustache. He twirled the ends of the handlebar hair as he walked closer and closer toward the super hero. "It's time for you to meet your kinfolk. Come with me in my...

hot air balloon." After an hour-long trip they reached a small island, populated with a race called the "Second-cousin-twice-removed-in-laws." They greeted the super hero with a big...

scoop of ice cream and a hearty pat on the back. "Welcome!" they exclaimed in unison. "We've been waiting for you! Now, we can finally complete our heroic plan of ultimate evil!"

"What plan is this?" asked our hero.
"It is to repopulate the western world with nothing but second cousins twice removed in-laws," they cried.
"Well count me out, I'm too old and tired to repopulate anything," replied hero. "I'm heading back home to save the world from kinfolk like you." From that day on, there were never any more second cousins twice (or thrice or four times) removed.
The End

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