by Liam, Taylor, Raylene, Elliot, Lizzy, Gwen and David

Having none to call my own, I coveted every possession that I saw. The thought that anything that could be owned must be had instilled in me a purpose, as a being of consciousness, to own as much as I could. To take without asking, to steal, to lie, and deny the rights of others. How can others even exist if, of my own volition, I can kill them? I am the singular mind. I am the only will.

I had taken so many things in my day, I could not count them all. Expensive things, cheap things, even priceless things such as a person's life. I took them all and hoarded them, gloated over them, prided myself in their ownership. My desire to have things, to create a small empire of objects underneath me, was overpowering. I was fueled by that urge more than any other urge in my nature.

There were so many urges to buy so many things, but what to do and what to buy?

After contemplating many different urges, a unicycle became my number one priority. I'd do anything for a unicycle. Where could I get one from? I know, I'll travel to a circus and take one from Bobo the clown! "Gimme your unicycle, you red-nosed...

...clown. Hand it over."
"Not so fast. This is the most powerful unicycle in the universe and it's mine," said Bobo. "I will rule the world and you will never stop me."

Now I realized that ultimate ownership could only be ... as leader of the planet. (Tyrannical, autocratic leader, of course.) I began to plan my theft of Bobo's unicycle -- because it would be the only suitable mode of transportation -- when I realized that I might be getting myself in for a lot of work and responsibility! So...

I distracted Bobo by telling him his three-headed monkey was escaping, and in the 30 seconds it took him to realize he didn't have a three-headed monkey, I had escaped on his Ultimate Unicycle! There was one problem, though -- I had flunked out of unicycle school, and could not ride it! It fell into traffic from under me, and was crushed. Thus, by stealing The One Unicycle, instead of conquering the world, I unwittingly saved it. That is my story. Did I win?

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