Tar and Feathers

by Doug Dewar, Alan Dewar, Shane Dewar, Mary Lou Dewar, Jeff Dewar, Bob Dewar, David Dewar and Megan Dewar

The driver pulled out of the driveway onto Crowchild Trail and put down the hammer of his '71 Mustang Mach 1, burning rubber and leaving a cloud of smoke as he peeled towards Cochrane.

The RCMP officer hiding behind the billboard couldn't believe his equipment, as it registered 200 km/h, so he just shook his head and went back to sleep, leaving the Cochrane citizens unprepared for what was coming their way.

The RCMP thought that he was an old killer.

But no, on second glance, he realized that it was his old buddy from high school -- Doug Dewar, or "Burn Rubber" as he was known.

Upon realizing this, he snapped back to attention, and placed an emergency call to the people of Cochrane, but by then, it was too late to stop "Burn Rubber".

He had passed Cochrane and was half way to Banff, but he braked quickly when he saw the beautiful game warden sunning herself and wearing only a deerskin bikini.

"Fur is murder!!" yelled the surprisingly enviro-sensitive Mr. Rubber, but before he could throw his bucket of synthetic pig's blood on the underdressed warden, she politely explained that this particular outfit was made from a critter who had already died of entirely natural causes; and besides, it wasn't called deer fur.

"It was called feathers."
The End

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