My Big Romance

by Bob Dewar, Mary Lou Dewar, Jeff Dewar, David Dewar, and Alan Dewar

That was the most exciting night of my life. You see, I had just won the under age 10 tiddley-winks tournament. I beat out 8 boys and 14 girls to win. Then one of the girls asked to see my trophy. She then ran off with it. That was the beginning of our big romance.

If you could call it that. Our relationship was really one long series of grab and pursue. For some strange reason, the girl (Euphemia Jane) liked to grab whatever was important to me, and run off with it. One time, it was my math homework, and another time, my Christmas shopping list. Finally I got so angry at her that I decided to teach her a lesson...

After the math "class," she stopped taking my things. Instead, she took things from Brutus, the school bully. It was then that I actually started liking her...

I decided to sneak up and propose to her. She stole my pants and ran off.

This was deeply embarrassing, since we were still in school, but I ended up having the last laugh. You see, my suspenders were still attached to the pants, and I had the other end of these. I grabbed a passing squirrel, wrapped my end of the suspenders around it, and let go. When the squirrel shot past her (and through my pants!), Euphemia Jane practically freaked out and had a heart attack, but then ended up rolling on the floor laughing, until the principal came along and gave her a detention. She decided that she liked my sense of humor so much that she ended up marrying me.

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