Donate plz!

by Jeff Dewar, Alan Dewar, Mary Lou Dewar, David Dewar and Bob Dewar

There once was a plucky shrine maiden named Reimu, who was famed throughout the land as the best youkai exterminator anywhere. She kept the humans safe from vampires, evil spirits, rival shrine maidens, and so on. In spite of this, she never got nearly as good of donations as she really deserved, and while it would be an exaggeration to say she was living in poverty, she did struggle to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Reimu decided that she needed to expand her influence, in order to increase the incoming offerings. The best way she could think of to do this was to team up with a local kappa and a sunekosuri to frighten the local villagers into coming to her. She and the youkai could then split the take, the youkai could go back to where they had come from, and everyone would be happy.

But there was a problem. She couldn't get any kappa or sunekosuri to agree to collaborate with her. What to do? Of course -- she should have thought of this long ago! She would ...

... she hesitated mid-thought... Maybe it was a bad idea. Sure, she could use force to coerce the desired youkai into cooperation, but... Oh, wait, better idea: pick a different kind of youkai to ask help from, like a tengu or a nurikabe!

However that idea failed as both the tengu and nurikabe were off selling Cutco™ knives. Sales were so good that Reimu made enough cash to buy 500 Euros worth of lottery tickets. One of those paid off with 52,000,147 Euros, but the Zimbabwe government claimed all but 147 of these. But it did not matter because, in spite of this disappointment, Reimu lived happily ever after.

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